On Thursday, July 28, at San Jose’s Avaya Stadium, the MLS All-Stars will take on English Premier League club Arsenal in the 2016 AT&T MLS All-Star Game.
One of Impact Media’s two Oliviers, Olivier Meilleur, is a die-hard Arsenal supporter who savoured the era of Thierry Henry, Dennis Bergkamp, Patrick Vieira, Robert Pirès and co., and laments the era of Cesc Fàbregas, Robin van Persie and imaginary transfers. The other, Olivier Tremblay, is still wailing over Newcastle United’s relegation to the Championship and severely blames Arsenal (as well as another 18 clubs) for it.
The Oliviers recently argued over who would win the All-Star Game. Here is how that transpired.
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OM: Do I need to remind you, Tremblay, that the MLS All-Stars are taking on one of the greatest clubs in the world? Sure, the Montreal Impact will send the most representatives to San Jose: Laurent Ciman, Nacho Piatti and Didier Drogba. Sure, when he was at Stamford Bridge, Drogba scored no fewer than 15 goals against the Gunners. But he’s not troubling the red and white defence that much, this time around.
OT: Third time’s a charm, Meilleur. The MLS All-Stars won the last two All-Star games, and they’ll win a third on July 28. All London teams were created equal, after all…
OM: [Containing his rage] No.
OT: I’ll give you this: MLS supporters, Commissioner Don Garber and head coach Dominic Kinnear do recognize talent when they see it. As you mentioned, three Impact players will be part of their squad.
OM: But although Özil, Alexis, Koscielny, Giroud and Ramsey will miss out after the summer’s international tournaments, Arsenal has enough firepower to shrug off the challenge of the MLS elite, whose cohesion and reflexes will be off – such issues don’t exist in North London, as you can see here, here, and never at St. James’ Park.
OT: [Containing his rage]
OM: In goal, Tremblay, Arsène Wenger is spoiled for choice, with world-class goalkeepers Petr Čech and David Ospina.
OT: No worries between the posts for the All-Stars either, Meilleur. Kinnear has called up his Earthquakes ‘keeper, David Bingham, who will be playing on the field that he knows best. He’ll be comfortable and won’t struggle to find his bearings. Andre Blake, for his part, has faced a lot of shots this season for the Union. Arsenal shoots a lot. Despite the heavy defeat to the Impact, I insist: no worries. And in defence, the All-Stars have European experience in the form of Laurent Ciman, who is determined to return from injury against Arsenal, while Kendall Waston is used to playing against great players – and alongside them – with his national team. I don’t know who will replace the injured Matt Besler and Liam Ridgewell, but Steve Birnbaum, Andrew Farrell, Keegan Rosenberry and Brandon Vincent are still relatively young and unafraid of challenges. Just remember how collected Rosenberry was in Montreal against Piatti and Drogba the first time around.
OM: All right, but Arsenal’s back four will include such names as Héctor Bellerín – a revelation –, Nacho Montreal, Calum Chambers, Kieran Gibbs, your boy Mathieu Debuchy or Carl Jenkinson. Although Laurent Koscielny, one of the world’s top centre backs, is still on vacation, and Per Mertesacker and Gabriel are unavailable due to a knee injury and tonsillitis respectively, this is a backline that only conceded 36 goals in 38 Premier League games last season. In front of them, new Swiss recruit Granit Xhaka – a two-time Player of the Game at Euro 2016, Tremblay – provides athleticism and determination alongside the wizard Santi Cazorla and the oft-injured Wilshere, who will be back after making a mere three appearances in 2015-16. Also, don’t forget about policeman Francis Coquelin and the dynamic Mohamed Elneny. One-touch, two-touch, whatchu want.
OT: Meh. Jermaine Jones, Kaká, Sacha Kljestan and Andrea Pirlo have seen it all. Along with them, Kyle Beckerman and Wil Trapp add a tad of tenacity and intelligence in front of the backline. Mauro Diaz, Giovani Dos Santos and Darlington Nagbe are in form and will strive to unsettle your Arsenal’s defence – which won’t be all that finely tuned at this point.
OM: And what about the All-Stars defence, Tremblay? I’ll say it again: they never play with each other, and they’re facing the forward line of the mighty Arsenal – Arsenal! I’ll admit that picking the front three will be tough for Arsène Wenger: he has only one first-team centre forward, Olivier Giroud, who’s unavailable for this game. Will we see Theo Walcott, whose top speed is equal to that of a leopard, up front? On the wings, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, Joel Campbell, an international teammate of Johan Venegas’…
OT: … And of Kendall Waston’s…
OM: … And the surprising Alex Iwobi, a nephew of former PSG forward Jay-Jay Okocha, will share the duties. Will transfer targets Alexandre Lacazette, linked with Arsenal since 1964, and Inter’s Mauro Icardi have made the jump?
OT: Don’t look at me like that. I don’t know. What I do know is that up front, Kinnear has plenty of options. As you’ve mentioned, Didier Drogba has had Gunners for breakfast in the past, and he still can.
OM: That’s not what I said…
OT: [Ignoring him] Clint Dempsey, who played for Fulham and Tottenham, knows Arsenal well and will be pumped up for this. Sebastian Giovinco taking Chambers on is a scene straight out of Apocalypse Now. Ignacio Piatti – let’s call him Nacho Montreal – and David Villa can both spring a surprise – do you remember February 16, 2011, Meilleur? Cyle Larin and Chris Wondolowski, for their part, are fearless in the penalty area.
OM: Oh, I do remember… But they will fear Arsenal, Tremblay. Despite the early-season fitness, the Gunners will triumph thanks to sturdy goalkeeping, a tight back four, a solid, creative midfield, and quick, formidable forwards.
OT: Ok then. But Arsenal will, in the midst of its preseason, take on MLS All-Stars in perfect match fitness, Meilleur. Arsenal will take on MLS All-Stars who will be aware of its style, while the home team’s approach will be unpredictable.
OM: Whatever. What you have to remember, Tremblay, is that Arsenal always does better than Tottenham. Always.
